Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What's the difference between a baby and an onion? One is a vegetable and the other is a human being.

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who is gay and sits next to me in my architecture class? James and austin!!!!

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? Pizza guy. Just a minute, I have to grab my wallet.

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What do you call a black man in space? An astronaut.

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Why did the woman make a sandwich? Because she was hungry.

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A have a black guy in my family tree. He married my cousin a few years back

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How do you kill a zombie? You don't. Zombies aren't real.

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What did the ant say when he walked in the club. . . Nothing he was immediately stepped on.

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I like my coffee how I like my women. Without a penis. - Blake Woodman

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Why was the young women crying Because her fiancé who was battling a severe Case of pneumonia just passed away

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A man walks into a car. And drive's off.

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Why can't Helen Keller have sex? She is dead

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Whats the difference between a quarter and a penny? 24 cents.

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Knock knock. "Who's there?" I am deaf. "I am deaf who?" What?

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You know how I felt about Nero, no way id ever date anyone but you, back then that is. Fine I will come along, I bet you left the base at "point zero" without the information he left, you have not changed a bit Seth, always too impulsive for your own good, but Nero was always like that and that, turned out, well damn. Tell me first, if you come get me, how much have you really changed mentally from the last time we met? You sincerely sound like a psychopath and I could use a shoulder to cry on rather than be escorted to some sick torture dungeon thing. I gather you are not far away, could you please get over here asap? I do not care about more than the standard code anymore, you have not changed much, except you are a deranged psychopath now, I get it, in your place I think id do the same, I have no idea how bad Nero was doing when you found him, and I sure as hell dont want to know.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither Has He.

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Your mamas so old she died of old age, R.I.P.

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what did the little boy see when he walked into his parents bed room a bed

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If Chuck Norris were to roundhouse you. Then something previously happened before the altercation, that caused tension.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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Women's Rights.

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Roses are red Violets are blue, I am sorry... But you have terminal cancer and are probably going to die in about 3 months

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Whats the difference between a Philadelphia Flyers fan and a pedophile? What they are.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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