Yo mamma is so fat her blood type is RAGU

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On the next line im going to write a joke: George W. Bush

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What's red and funny? The holocaust

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sky's the limit said the tree a.w. j.p.

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what is the most efficient way to scratch your balls? hire a leprechaun slave.

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Lucy laughed at the joke. Then realised she had gangrene.

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how do you confuse a blond? put them in a circle room and tell them to sit in the corner

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I've got ninety-nine problems, all of them very diverse and possibly involving women.

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Daym im romantic

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Steven Hawkin ran a marathon.

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What did the Pope say to the homosexual couple? Welcome to the community.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Q. What did the buddhist monk say to the hotdog vendor? A. "I'd like a hotdog, please."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's Roses are red...

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what does a baby with no lims get for christmas...cancer

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A woman walks into a bar but is promptly returned to her kitchen by an officer of the law. Later that same evening, she is beaten mercilessly by her husband for her outright disrespect for the social restrictions imposed upon her gender.

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What did the orange say to the lemon? We are both alike but a differnt color

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How much booze did the homeless man drink? All of it. He is severely depressed.

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this site is an antijoke

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A postal worker creeps past a sleeping bulldog. The dog does not wake up, and the mail is delivered successfully.

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whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? i know how to make a pizza

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How do Germans treat the Jewish? Kindly, and with much hospitality.

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How do you get your mom off a clown? hit your mom with an axe

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What does a gay horse eat? Other gay horses.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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