What do you call a dog with no legs? A dog with no legs

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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A women's opinion.

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A black man offers to take a girl home from the nightclub. As they're sitting in the car, she curiously asks him ''So tell me it's true what they say about black man''. The man sighs and explains: ''Well many people think that we stab, shoot and steal things. Another stereotype that is launched at us is that we have large penises. I however do not steal. My penis is also quite small. After this conversation the girl was driven home safely, and was now convinced that stereotypes are lies.

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An insane individual walks into a bank and asks for $500. The teller refuses since he doesn't have an account, so the individual pulls out a gun and asks the teller again. The teller presses the silent panic button, causing the cops to show up and arrest the gunman, but not before he manages to shoot the teller and the small child standing next two counters over.

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what does chicken and triceratops have in common both their jokes are anti-climatic, from lack of punchline

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How do you prevent a baby from crawling all over the place? You nail his hands to the floor

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What do you call a man who buys flowers, chocolates, and new jewelry for his wife? A kind, considerate husband.

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What is the diffrence between a monkey... An apple because the more the much. :) :| :| :|

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Boom! Splat! You'll never know.

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Why did the black person eat fried chicken Because fried chicken tends to be an abundant food in the African American community and that was the quickest and cheapest weekend afternoon food source nearest to his house. It is also found in many other communities throughout the country and even the world. Oh yeah, he was hungry

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Why did the hockey cross the road? To get to KFC.

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I was at work today and whilst staring at my beautiful colleague I realised how hard it had got. So I quit

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The audience was ready, the stage was set, as soon as the show ended, the actors applauded towards the audience shouting ENCORE! The audience paid and went home, then they suddenly went... HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THIS SCENARIO!? They cared so much about one another, that they wanted to fall in love with each other. Now that is true love that is not love people! Nerometal (Ironically my name is Nero, I bet the Neronism guys name is Dwayne Maskdork or something, seriously...)

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Why was the washing machine laughing? Because you're on drugs.

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A man walks in to a bar, so he got hurt.

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whats worse than being raped by a random stranger getting raped by your uncle

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A: If you were stranded on an island and you could only have one thin, what would it be? B: A boat A: That makes sense

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why did the one armed, bearded man, in a wheelchair go to the mall ? He wished to purchase yogurt and Tiger woods 2007 for the ps2

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Question what is blue and floats Answer everything that is blue that foes not sink

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hey i just met you and this is crazy so heres my number actually is dolan

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Why was the kid crying? Cause he had a frog stapled to his face.

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captcha: all yer base

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knock knock Who's there? The repo man Why? You're being evicted

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops