I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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Hello, this is Chuck Norris speaking.

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Why was the man sad? Because he found his 80 year old mother had been raped and murdered in her home...

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Why did the baby die, because he got herpes, so did his mother, there both dead now.

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Which is longer? A rope...

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How do you confuse a blonde? The same way you confuse a brunette or redhead, hair color has nothing to do with an individual's intelligence.

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Why was the priest lying still? Because his son shot him

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Why is Taylor sad? Because she's the middle of a human centipede.

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why couldnt the polish people live in the outhouse? because the mexicans in the basement were too noisy

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What did tarzan say when he saw 100 elephants coming over the hill? Look there's 100 elephants coming over the hill What did tarzan say when he saw 100 elephants coming over the hill with sunglasses on? Nothing he did not recognize them

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How many women does it take to change a lightbulb. None, Thomas Edison was a man.

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uas;ugbasrG "khVESGF;OQWAEFH;OASEHFO;SAEFUASUusa;uefSOEHFSOEHDF;oasehf;oasehf;uoashvo;uasfo'H EF;owefhoaw;sefoasjefpiwaejf MINTY FRESGH

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How do you make a clown sad? Rape his wife, choke his grandma and send him a video of you setting his children on fire.

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i used to think i had the coolest secret handshake with helen keller. then i realized she was talking sh*t about me

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Why did the mentally disabled child begin to cry? Because he shit himself

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Ask him nicely to come down, and if that doesn't work, he will most likely stay up there.

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hi

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A Mexican, an Italian and an American all walk into a bar. They order their drinks and have pleasant conversation, and all return home to loving families safely and securely.

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kcuf read it backwards

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A father was angry at his daughter's boyfriend because he took her virginity. The boyfriend said he was ashamed that he never told her he has AIDS.

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What's the difference between a lion and a stuffed lion? One is for children to play with, one will eat you alive.

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How can you tell a baby lost it's voice? It doesn't scream when you staple it to a ceiling fan and turn it on.

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some magicians can walk on water, Chuck norris can swim in water, faster than the average man.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Oh, they were just nailing a notice of foreclosure to the door.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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