If an oak tree falls in the woods, and the tree has 3 squirrel nest in them, then does a whale jizz in the ocean?

Did you know, I have a black man in my family tree? He works for a lawn service.

the bully said, you're just small fries. the fries couldn't help it someone ordered a small!

Two men fought over a bag of peanuts. The peanuts won.

Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

One day Rebecca Black was driving down the street in a brand new convertible Luckily a policeman pulled her over after observing that she was far too young to be driving a car. Underage driving is a serious offense and should not be endorsed in music videos.

A priest, a minister, and a rabbi walk into a butcher's shop. The priest and the minister each by a pound of pork while the rabbi doesn't because one of the 613 Commandments is that a Jew shall not eat any animal with hooves.

Q: Whats worst than the Holocaust A: If a second Holocaust happened, and then you found an apple in your apple

Does Geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? No, it's a scam.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was simply wandering around and happened to walk from one side of the road to the other.

Roses are red, Violets aren't. This doesn't make sense. Potatoes and brown.

An old man walks across the street. Several cars start to honk in irritation, for they are in a hurry and the man is walking quite sluggishly.

I took my father out last night. We went to the Olive Garden.

What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

Why doesn't McDonald's sell hot dogs? They don't want to advertise for McWeenies.

A buddhist walks up to a hotdog stand asks the server to make him one with everything

what dyu call a bunch of white guys on a bench? the NBA

A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

Your momma's so not fat that when a school bus rolled by here house, she just sat there and turned on oprah.

In mother Russia you don't eat cookie. Dog eat shark. -B.Gill

What happened to the kids bike? It broke when he got hit by a bus

Q: What is strange about Arabs? A: Very little.

A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'Why the long face?' The horse replies 'I've got AIDS.'

If a red house has red bricks, and a yellow house has yellow bricks, what colour of bricks does a greenhouse have? Greenhouses are made of glass.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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