Linda: See that rainbow? Isn't it beautiful? Bart: I'm color blind.... Linda: Well...this is awkward...

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Q. what has 2 tums and a boner. A. a horny guy <3

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An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can't talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it's a bird of prey.

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What do you get when you cross a turtle and a cheetah? A fictional animal.

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What has one head, three eyes and seven legs? A cow with a tri-pod rammed up it's arse. The third eye is a result of a birth defect.

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What did the two homosexual dolphins do when nobody was around? They continued on their way because neither of them had met.

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PENIS :)

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Can I have a dollar? I don't know, can you?

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures.

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what did one waiter say to the other? were waiters.

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What do tigers dream of when they take a tiger snooze? Mike Tyson

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This ones for the dudes: Whats worse then having sex with a woman with no penis? Having se with a man

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Your mom is so fat that she has high cholesterol. Moral: I AM NOT CRAZY! Said the man to the dog.

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emma: how will we survive zombies? mat t: just give me a blow job ......4 seconds later emma: so what now?

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What do you call a moose with a 12 gauge shotgun bullet through it's head? Open Season

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Two hippies walk into a bar. They are both asked to leave because they are in violation of the 'no shoes, no service' policy.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs going down a mountain? A: As good as dead.

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Q: What is usually black , is a rectangle and has two circles? A: An i pod touch 4

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An Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman went in a hot air balloon and had a magical afternoon that none of them will ever forget, except the Scotsman because he fell out during take off and is now in a coma.

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple Finding half a worm in your apple .....

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Have you heard the one about Tony Hawk's brother Mike? Neither has he, considering Tony Hawk only has a brother named Steve.

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42

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Whats worse than driving a Ford Taurus? Driving two Ford Taurus'

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Do you also think Daffy Duck is really attractive when he dresses up like a woman? Yeah, me neither...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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