emma: how will we survive zombies? mat t: just give me a blow job ......4 seconds later emma: so what now?

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What do you call a moose with a 12 gauge shotgun bullet through it's head? Open Season

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Two hippies walk into a bar. They are both asked to leave because they are in violation of the 'no shoes, no service' policy.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs going down a mountain? A: As good as dead.

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Q: What is usually black , is a rectangle and has two circles? A: An i pod touch 4

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An Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman went in a hot air balloon and had a magical afternoon that none of them will ever forget, except the Scotsman because he fell out during take off and is now in a coma.

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple Finding half a worm in your apple .....

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Have you heard the one about Tony Hawk's brother Mike? Neither has he, considering Tony Hawk only has a brother named Steve.

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42

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Whats worse than driving a Ford Taurus? Driving two Ford Taurus'

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Do you also think Daffy Duck is really attractive when he dresses up like a woman? Yeah, me neither...

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whenever you come out of emma browns bedroom

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Q: Why didn't i save my work? A: Because i didn't do any work?

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Why did the blond fall down? She died.

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What's the safest way to tell a racist joke? Ask everybody who might hear the joke if they would be offended by a racist joke.

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Whats the difference between a Jew and a boy scout? Boy scouts come back from camp.

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why did miles cross the road? Because hes gay

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to, like any other chicken

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Clyde: Hey John! :D John: Hey clyde! :D Clyde: :D! John: :D! Clyde: :D, :), :|, :(, D'X John: ? hey man, are you ok? Wtf is going on with you? Clyde: Man, it's not me... :'(... It's you... It's your... Your... John: My what? Clyde: YOUR FACE!!!! D'X

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Who should you call when your dad overdoses on Viagra. Child Support

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If a tree falls in the woods, how many animals lost their home to deforestation?

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who's getting there balls chopped off by lilly? Nemo

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What is white and fluffy? A cotton ball.

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Chuck Norris walks up to a baby and punches it in the face He walks away and laughs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops