what do you do if you catch syphilis from a Swedish prostitute? seek the help of a medical professional.

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Why is Ray Charles always smiling? He's not, corpses rarely smile

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What do you call 100 Americans at the bottom of the ocean? A US submarine crew.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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Why did the chicken fall down? Because it wanted to have fun

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why did the chicken cross the road Banana

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Your mother is so ugly that when she looks in the mirror she feels bad about her appearance.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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A man walks into a bar. He had to leave promptly because he, according to the law, was too young to be served alcohol.

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jack shine has boobs

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Why did the man look in the mirror? To see his reflection.

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What starts with "m" and rhymes with monkey? Platypus

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A twelve year old walks into a bar. How Tragic

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What do you call a man covered in magnets? Attractive

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Want to hear a funny joke? Sure. Women's Rights. That's not even a joke. You don't get it. It's not even a sentence.

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I saw a man lying on the floor. He ate too much cake.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue Oh, that's good to know.

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Mary once had a boyfriend with a wooden leg; however, itt was a highly dysfunctional relationship, as the boyfriend was much too possessive of Mary. So Mary was forced to bring a close to the relationship.

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What did the guy say to the mushroom? You're a fungi

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house No? Neither has he!

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What do you call a dog with no wings? A dog

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Knock knock, Who's there? The constable. Your husband was killed in a car crash.

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What is red and fluffy?... Your teddy bear covered in blood...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops