What happened when the football player couldn't get his Coke from the vending machine? He got angry.

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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth? Stuck

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have you seen stevie wonder's harmonica? neither has he.

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Not sure, its just a really rare combination, people tell me stuff like "oh they are really bright brown" like hell they are, I mean sorry but the hell they are. I prefer it the way you say it, they are red, really really red, and you do not say it as if I had something to be ashamed off.

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Roses are red Violets are blue This is a poem The End

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What is six foot three, plays basketball, and is black? A black dog with basketball skills and takes steroids.

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What did the waffle say when the black guy started eating him? Nothing, because waffles are inanimate objects and therefore cannot talk.

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How do you kill a jew? Same way you would anyone

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" The owner of the horse then explains the evolution of the species and genetics. The bartender, satisfied, serves the owner a drink and gladly gives the horse water.

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Whats black and runs really fast? Usain Bolt

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in an open hole Poor body disposal practice

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How long does it take a Jewish man to pleasure his wife? There are many factors that go in to pleasuring a woman, none of which are readily measureable

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Roses are red Violets are blue get down or i will shoot

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What is the difference between a monkey and a pig? A monkey doesn't snort drugs.

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A horse walks into a bar. the bartender asks: "How's the family?" The Horse says: "they are fine." Everyone runs out screaming because Horses can't talk, except the bartender. He has a mental illness.

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Why is it not safe for turkeys to do maths? Because they don't have the mental capacity to carry out the calculations correctly, which would be a danger in jobs such as engineering or the space industry. Furthermore, they are unable to understand the concept of numbers or symbols and therefore have no motivation to solve mathematical problems; and even if they did, they don't have the dexterity or education to write out the solutions.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Intel Core Computers answer robot flavored phones at middle of june CC

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Why does 1 + 1 = 2? ....seriously P

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Why did dan jump off of the empire state building? -Because Carl pushed him off.

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What did the blonde say when she saw a tan button on her calculator? That must mean tangent.

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Why was the man angry? Because I slept with his wife.

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why did the kitten drink its milk? because it doesnt have a motor so has no need for petrol.

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what's faster than a jet? a speeding bullet. what's faster than a speeding bullet? light.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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