A black man, a jew and a muslim walk into a bar. ... I forgot what happens next, so let's just say they have a good time and get back home safely.

Why are black people so fast? They probably practice.

Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

The Minnesota Vikings won a game.

What is small, cries a lot, and moves at high speeds? A baby stapled to a car.

If a tree falls in the forest does anybody really care?

Is your refrigerator running? Go fuck yourself

What did the sting ray say to steve irwin? It doesn't matter , steve irwin is dead, dead as a doormat.

If Roger buys 109 candy bars and eats 65, what does he have? Diabetes.

What do you call a black man in the olympics? An olympian.

what is the best invention ever created ? ............ PORN !!!!

Yo mama so fat... Her doctor told her she's morbidly obese and she has 2 years to live if she doesn't change her eating habits and exercise regularily.

Dig Bick Your dislexic

Three guys and 4 Catholics are in a bar. They guys are making a joke. The first one says I'm gonna go to Oregon there's no Catholics there and the second one says I'm gonna go to Ohio there is no Catholics there and the third one says I'm gonna go to Alaska there's no Catholics there and one of the Catholics walk up and say how about you go to hell theres no Catholics there.

Knock, Knock Who's there? Minecraft!

A guy asks someone's name. The other guy answer that his name is Steeve.

What does a blonde's pussy taste like? The same as her brain, cabbage.

roses are red violets are blue i've got alzheimer's ...

It's red or yellow but most likely grey, and when its hit your eye you are dead? A train :)

Why did the boy have a rash? He didn't, it was a birthmark.

Why was the Nazi killed? for crimes against Humanity

Dont be mean Dyslexics are teople poo

It was at the war and there was a camp site where a doctors helped injured soldiers. One soldier comes in the door and holds his arm. The doctor says "You got shot in the arm?" He says yes. Then another soldier walks in the door and holding his shoulder. The doctor says "You got shot in the shoulder?" He says yes. Then another soldier walks in the door and was dragging his left leg across the floor. The doctor says "You got shot in your leg?" The soldier says "No, I stepped on dog shhhttt."

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was John Elway.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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