What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Susie sells seashells by the seashore. Susie was a schizophrenic bitch who caused irreversible harm to her family and those close to her. She also had underage sex with a black guy named John. He was actually a pretty decent guy, but he decided to smoke weed a couple times when his dad was going through some tough times. His dad resented him for this fact and it caused unresolved tension between them for years. This caused John to go out and seek younger girls to have sex with, to fill the emptiness he and his dad's relationship left him with. Meanwhile, Susie was falling in love with John, not knowing his many dark secrets he had tried best to keep hidden from her. Eventually, all of these things come out in the open, and Susie still respects him and ultimately loves him even more for being so honest.

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a horse walks in to a bar and the bar tender asks, "why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because it is a horse and is confused by its surroundings and then gallops out of the bar knocking over a few tables as it makes its escape.

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Why did they use the phone as a football? Because it was a phone-ball.

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A drunkard stumbles into the bar. Now he's got thousand's of dollars in medical bills.

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A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

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What's yellow and dangerous? China.

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So there was a pirate, he got shot in the back. And when he got shot he turned to his freind (fellow pirate) and said i have been shot and there is a pretty good chance i will die.

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whats purple with fur?nothing mammals cannot have purple fur

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Knock knock Who's there? *silence* WHO'S THERE? *silence* -Looks out window- Slenderman

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Why was the light on in the house ? A. the owners were using it

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How do you poop without it splashing? clench clench, release, clench clench, release, clench, release, clench, release.

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What do you call a black man with a gun? Officer.

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javascript:alert("your own");

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Why did the guy run out of the whorehouse? Because when she spread her legs it looked like she was pulling apart a grilled ham and cheese sandwich.

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Dude: Hey want to hear a joke? Other dude: What is it? Dude: Joke. Other dude: What? Dude: I don't know. That was a joke ladies an gentleman.

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How can you tell the difference between a black guy and a white guy? skin color

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You know what's funny? You can't spell manslaughter without laughter.

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Three men of different ethnic and socio-economic upbringings enter a pub. A strange situation befalls them or a question is posed. The first two respond in turn, in manners typical of their profession or educational background. The third, however, either draws on his specific expertise and responds so as to outwit the others, or makes an egregious and pun-filled blunder, leaving himself open to mockery by his peers.

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Guess what? You just lost the game.

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How do you kill Chuck Norris? Short Answer: You can't.

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Why did the elf cry? Because someone stole his shoe.

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give my joke a thumbs up Please!!!

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Q: What's bigger than a volcano? A: Earth

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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