a dyslecstic son seys to his mum can i have a mcdonald for tea the mum seys ye if you can spell mcdonlds and the son seys fuk that im having a kcf

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a tumor Doctors give it 6 weeks before I die...

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Or something... Volume one. What do you do if you are in the jungle and get confronted by one jaguar to your left, and one tiger at the right and got only one bullet left in your gun? You shoot the Jaguar and drive home in the tiger.

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why can't johnny compete in the track race? because he has no feet.

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Q: What did the horse say to the other horse? A: Nothing, Horses are incapable of making verbal communication therefore they cant speak to each other.

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Why did little Sammy die of boredom? The WNBA was on

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Why did the man wipe his bum with a sweat-shirt? Because they were all out of toilet paper

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Why did someone see a penguin walking in the desert? They were dreaming, because Penguins waddle and live in the Arctic.

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Q: Why didn't the bunny eat the carrot? A: The bunny didn't have any carrots. Poor bunny.

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What happed when the homeless shelter went out of business? -Everyone went hungry and died.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop? Depends. Are you applying a lot of pressure and licking in short, round bursts, or are you softly suckling on the treat? Your mouth's pH level is also a determining factor, as the sucker digests at a quicker rate the higher the acid content. To put it simply, there is no correct answer, because the sheer quantity of variables makes it a tootsie-less endeavor. See how I said tootsie-less rather than fruitless? Now that's a real joke.

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Why did the black man cross the road? To escape from his owner.

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your mama's so ugly, she suffers from chronic deppression.

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what did the cow say to shabab?....... want some milk

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what do you say to your girlfriend just after the best sex you ever had? I really got great value for money tonight with my prostitute sweety. You should have been there

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What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing, penguins haven't evolved a complex form of language.

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender asks " What'll You Have" The duck doesn't respond because it's a duck.

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Sarah Palin.

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Whats worse than dying? Nothing.....?

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A bar walks into a man

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There is no joke here, stop reading.

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Why could the little girl not swim? She had rabies.

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What did the white man say to the black man? Hi i'm Steve, it's nice to meet you

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What did the southern uncle say to his nephew when he woke up? Good morning, son.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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