Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

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Why couldn't the Jew get pregnant? Because he was man.

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What's worse than walking into a door by accident? Finding out that your mother molestors children.

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Q. What language cant you speak A.Sign language

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What did one tampon say to the other? Nothing. They were both stuck up bitches

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What do you call 4 black people at a kfc? A family sitting down for there evening meal

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A man walks into a bar, he sits down.

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What is Earth made out of? Earth

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What is the difference between a rat and an italian? nothing.

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Why are anti-jokes so funny?

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What do you call a man with a Club approaching a Seal Very Strong considering he can hold a building

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Why did the four friends drive past the bar? To see if it was too crowded to go into or not.

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What's the difference between an Asian driver and a Belgian prostitute? Nothing at all: Marie-Edith Yang is proud of her mixed heritage, and earns a decent wage in a relatively clean brothel in the lovely little medieval town of Bruges.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game.

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My Bologna has a first name, it's Tim.

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What do snowmen eat for lunch? Snowmen don't eat, they're inanimate balls of of solid precipitation with rocks for smiles and eyes and carrots for noses.

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If you place a dog next to a cow, they're not the same size

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Whats the difference between football and basketball? Absolutely everything By darragh Hamilton

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Roses are red, Violets are VIOLET!

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Girls get fucked Boys fuck Gays puke

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Why couldn't the little pirate see the movie? His dad had just died in a freak accident on the boat. He was going to the funeral that day. Life as a pirate isn't at all as it seems. Little Jimmy the pirate, had nothing. He had no family. His mother dead already, his sister and brother refusing to speak to him because he ran off to be a pirate with his father. Clearly, he had no idea what he was getting into, because his father was gone. What was he to do now? He had no one to go to. The ship mates were all either completly insane or never sober. That very night, Jimmy took the pistol off the ship captian and shot himself point blank in the head. Little Jimmy is in a better place now. With his mother and father. In a place where he cant be harmed any more. I miss you Jim <3. ~ Jack Sullivan

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Your momma is soooo poor... I don't know how she is so fat

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If your dying how would you avoid getting eaten alive by sharks or rip to shreds by a T-Rex? Fall on a sword

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Q: If 0+0=2 and four shampoo bottles is equal to two toaster strudels, how many pizza slices can Samuel eat? A: Winter because grass=6

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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