Nicolas Cage

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Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, "You know, we don't get many kangaroos here." Barack Obama replies, "At these prices, I'm not surprised. That's why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil."

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Mirror mirror on the wall. Why can't I see?

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Why are there no aspirin factories in the Amazon Rainforest? Because it would be unprofitable to build a factory that requires a large workforce in an uninhabited area.

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The man who invented the teleprompter has died at the age of 91. When President Obama heard the news, he was speechless.

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Q. Why did the girl with no legs fall off her bike? A. Somebody threw a refrigerator at her.

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Yo mamas so fat.

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-Knock Knock -Come in!

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A treadmill... did I mention he was kinda fat?

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why was little bobby sad? he accidentally super-glued Jupiter to his forehead.

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What do you call a group of black people? A group, you racist.

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knock knock. who's there myhairs myhairs who myhairs fallen out

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What's the most racist thing ever... Manhattan

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SCENES WHEN TOM O'SHEA GETS STABBED IN PRISON AFTER STEALING THE WHEELS OFF AN AMBULANCE

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What did Hellen Keller call her dog? Kamikaze-go, because he was an Akita from Japan and that was his name.

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What is blue and angry? Mr Johnston wearing his green dress. I'm colour blind but he came round to my way of thinking in the end.

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Dad what does negligence mean? SHUT THE FUCK UP KID! I TOLD YOU TO NEVER SPEAK TO ME AGAIN!

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What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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>posts joke >mistaken for anti-joke

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a man walks into a prostitute.

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How do you make a kid with ADHD stay still? Shoot him in the knee cap

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Your mother is so fat that she is highly likely to get heart disease and/or diabetes.

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knock knock how there me ok come in

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What's the difference between a pheromone and a hormone? Hormones are secreted internally and trigger various biochemical pathways that cause certain effects. We all are familiar with the effects of testosterone and estrogen, both on the anatomy, and behaviour of humans. Pheromones are secreted externally, and have an effect on another creature in similar ways. Usually they have to do with attracting sexual partners or changing a sex partners behaviour or body in some way.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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