Why Didn't jeff go to school yesterday? He was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the Jew say the Black man after their meal? "Don't worry, I'll pay the bill."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Justin Bieber got laid

thumb_up thumb_down +9

I think everybody ought to have a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What does it smell like, what does it feel like, do you like it? Yes

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Two Gay Men Walk Into a Bar, Not Just Any Bar...... a Sports Bar and Enjoy a nice cold Beer with their Heterosexual friends while watching the super bowl. They both go in the back room, where it is dark, together........ and they call for the manager to find out where the chef is so they can tie him down..... and smother him....... in questions concerning the size of his....... buffalo wings stop judging people you ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Whats worse than a little kid falling. Him getting vigorously raped by his father every night.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What is translucent and smells like a carrot ? A translucent carrot.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What would Hitler say if you give him a sandwich? Thankyou!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the homeless children get for christmas? Hypothermia

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the pedefile say to the child? Get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down +7

No, I do not have the will, I have a family now, I make a living writing fiction, and well, play a small role in keeping not national, but worldwide stability in such things as the economics. The thing is, that you are renegades, you do not break the law, but you like to do things your own way, that gets you enemies among the so called "paragons" in the face of society and media. Its just like back in the days, if CIA, The Feds, Interpol and such are known as the "Paragons of civilization" or "the good guys" if you prefer, they can point towards you guys, and say "these are evil", and then nothing can stop them.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What is the last digit of Pi? Pi is an infinite decimal sequence, and therefore has no last number, but if it did, it would presumably be somewhere from 0-9.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Good question, probably because I cannot get enough focus to "put a spell" on anyone because of my allergy, I use "autocast" for the rest. "Put a spell" I have not heard that since I was 14, that's really oldschool, and kinda geeky, back then it was code talk... Which is also geeky unless it actually serves a good purpose. AAAND... I served my mandatory time in the army as a minesweeper, we got attacked by fucking allies because of a... Yeah, I killed, people on our same team, still bad people, they offed about everybody else until I showed up, long story short, yeah I offed four of them, but that's like ten years ago.. My turn, you really got a crush on me dont you?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the child rapist say to the little boy? I'm going to rape you.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?"

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do giant panda bears eat? giant bamboo

thumb_up thumb_down +7

There are two muffins in an oven. One muffin says to the other "dang, it's really hot in here." Realizing that muffins can not talk the other muffin wakes up to a very hungry man biting his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A doctor is delivering a baby on April fool's day. He says, "Congradulations, it's a boy." He then says,"April fools! Your child was stillborn."

thumb_up thumb_down +7

You know what's funnier than 24? 25.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Hey we just met And this is crazy But my name's Kony And I stole your baby

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was kind of by chance that it crossed the road and what is the big deal lots of animals cross the road. For example possums, squirrels, deer, raccoons, cats, dogs, rabbits do pretty often too it's weird because sometimes more rabbits cross the road on Easter I don't know if that's just me though, chipmunks, bears, over in Africa probably tigers and lions cross those roads.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

why is 6 afraid of 7? because 6 is a capitalist and 7 is a communist

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you get when you cross a black man and a mule. Arrested.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops