A man walked into a bar. It hurt.

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How many Babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you throw them

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What's the difference between an elephant and a toaster. A lot of things.

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what do u say when u meet somebody new hello

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Why did the kid cry? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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If no means yes and yes means no, what is yes? Yes

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What's the difference between a black man and a white man, a white man has lighter skin

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What's black and white and red all over? Two nuns in a chainsaw fight.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because her dad through a fridge at her

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Time is irrelevant in this scenario because if this question is based in the United States it is highly unlikely an elephant will be near a fence you own, let alone sit on it, an activity rarely done by elephants and usually projected by humans onto other animals.

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What's worse than 12 dead babies in one trash can? 1 dead baby in 12 trash cans.

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Why did i get some thing to eat? Because i was hungry.

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69

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What do you say when you kill a pregnant lady? Double kill

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Why did the little kid color outside the lines? He had Parkinson's Disease.

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What did the judge say to the midget when he sent him to jail ? Stop beating your wife

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what has 50 legs, but can't walk? half of a centipede

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Why didn't the boy buy his mom a gift for Christmas? He was killed by a drunk driver two years ago

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Why w\s the English man, the French man, the German man, the Indian man, the Chinese man, the Irish man, the American man and the russian man all on a train together? They where going to the olympics.

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knock, knock who's there? I'm here to kill u! I'm here to kill u who? .......

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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what is cooler than writing an anti joke? killing eveybody who thinks the " my garden is on fire" joke is funny

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Penis

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What's green has eight legs, and would kill you of it fell on you from the top of a tree? A Billiard table

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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