Whats worse than finding out that your family is dead? finding a worm in your apple

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Knock Knock whose there? ach ach who? bless you

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So a Dog walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a glass of skotch, the bartender realizes he must be dreaming. At that very moment he realises he is in a lucid dream. Since this is the case he decides to murder his wife who is in bed right next to him as an expiriment. Since its a lucid dream it doesnt matter. Next he goes down to the fridge and pulls out some old pizza. He sits down for about half an hour eating it along with a box of tuis that also magically appeared in his fridge. Then he goes outside steals the neighbours car takes it for a ride to his Sister-In-Laws house who he has always wanted to root. He goes over breaks the window with his hand. The lucid dream feels so real to him because he pains from the glass in his hand and then he goes up stairs finds his sister-in-law sleeping so he hops into bed with her. At the same moment the police arrive because they followed him from his home were they recieved complants they heard him kill his wife. Everything starts to turn into a nightmare, so scared he trys to make himself wake up. However he cannot. This is not a lucid dream. This is reality. Pizza was in his fridge because he had it for dinner the night before, Beer did not magically appear. his wife had bought it when she went gorccery shopping. He killed his wife, then stole his neighbours car and attempted to rape his Sister-in-law. So now he is going to jail. And no lawyer wants to take up the case so this man is doomed. No hope at all of ever being a free man again

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A baby seal walks into a club

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A black man walks into a bar and says, "ouch."

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Sticks and stones can break my bones Well maybe you shouldn't play in the tree anymore

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, And I'm blind.

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A man is about to rape a girl. Before penetration he carefully and correctly applies a condom as he practices safe sex and is not yet ready to father a child.

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Why did Jack got late to his date? Because he was playing Call of Duty and forgot about the time.

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whats white a smells like paint. whtie paint.

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why did the chicken cross the road? dunno. i wasnt there.

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What do you call a penguin in the desert? A penguin.

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Why was the Mexican smart? Because he was very well educated and went to college, and got a Ph.D

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Yo mamma's so old she is dead.

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Someone asked me yesterday why my friend Portier is named after a sports car... I mean, fair enough, it is a common misconception but they live in the country and her Dad drives a tractor; think it through. [L]

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Jews

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Why doe this filthy bitch take big dildos inside himself? Because he is gay.

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I used to make jokes about taking arrows to the knee then i beat the game

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Why didn't peyton manning's grand mom call him after his game? She died of throat cancer 5 years ago

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A man walks into a bar. He is genetically predisposed to alcoholism, and it's destroying his family.

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why do you care?

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You have cancer

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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Why did the girl drop her ice cream her cone broke

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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