Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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why is santa so jolly? hes not hes a fictional character made up by our parents imagination

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Why did the chicken die? He tried to cross a road by an alleyway, therefore getting hit by a double decker bus and the alleyway has nothing to do with it. Also, the chicken had one leg and was blind.

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Yes.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? He didnt.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? My cheese

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WHATS FASTER THAN INTERNET BUSTA RYMES

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Q: why do shower heads have 11 holes? A: Jews only have 10 fingers

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

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Why did the British person go to the dentist? He had a poor diet which led to him getting cavities

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It's fun for you and me, that's why they call it OCD It's easy as 1..2.... Hey look a butterfly!

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What did the crippled Nazi say to the Jew? Get in the train.

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? Make some fucking lemonade.

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What's worse than shoveling dead babies??? Using a pitchfork...

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Two gorillas swing into a bar and are promptly escorted out because the gorillas are alcoholics.

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yo momma's so fat she sat on a tiny chair and relaxed.

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Hey I just met? you and this is crazy I have alzheimers Hey I just met you

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An abortionist secretly fancies himself pro life, with reservations. Overwhelmed, and utterly fed up, with the burden of carrying on the family business, he aborts himself. Although he was only 46, his frail mother was nevertheless proud of his decision to succeed where she had failed 46 years ealier.

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This is an anti-joke.

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american government

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple Plenty of things

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"You know what my motto in life is?" "No" "Oh, that's a shame."

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Q: what animal didnt get on Noah's ark in pairs? A: worms. they got on in apples.

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The grass is always greener on the side that uses manure and fertilizer daily.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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