Police Report: A 100 year old man was beaten to death on his centennial birthday. Sources claim to say he was "getting his birthday punches"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A Palestinian and an Israeli both board a plane at the same time. They exchange awkward glances and take seats at different ends of the plane.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A Jewish man walked into a.............................................................................................................................................. ................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................car

thumb_up thumb_down -12

the doctor says to the patient " i have some good news and some bad news" the patient says well what is it dock " well the good news is your fine " the patient asked what the bad news was and the doctor said " i lied about you being fine you have aids, and testicular cancer and you have 2 days to live"

thumb_up thumb_down -12

text this number 2066191208 saying i wanna rape you

thumb_up thumb_down -12

So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Ask me if I'm a human! - Are you a human? No. The correct term would be a human being.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Kesley Ioannou not shopping.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm schizophrenic. And so am I!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's brown and sticky? Turtle excrement.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you do when you have those days where you feel that you go back three damn steps for every step you take towards your goal? DUUUUUH! You turn your back, see? Now you are getting three steps at the right direction for every right one! LOGIC!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A dog with toothpaste in it's mouth wanders into a bar. The bartender beats it to death, because he thought it had rabies.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the man rob a convenience store? Don't ask why, call the police! He could be robbing more stores!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What dud the dorito say to the other dorito? Nothing. Sorosis are incapable of speaking because they are doritos

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the baby cross the road? It's abusive father punted it.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the boy have sex with his grandpa? His grandpa is a nice guy and it was his birthday.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because seven, eight, nine.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: What kind of bees make milk? A: Boobees

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the cashier say to the customer? You're total is $27.95

thumb_up thumb_down -14

why did Mary fall off the swing? cuz she had no arms ------------------- knock,knock who's there? not Mary

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the man poop his pants. becuase he had to poop.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How do you get a Jew in a car? Ask him to get in. How do you get him out? (If they say tell him to get out) Tell him Hitler is driving (If not) Ask him to kindly step out of the vehicle.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

why did the frog cry? Because he didn't get a message

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Do you know mirror has 6 letters and half of then are r's?

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops