what does a blonde say when she walks into a bar? ouch

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KNOCK! KNOCK! Who's there?! ... Ditched again!

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I swear to god it wasn't me! Dont swear to god its a sin !

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Civil Rights.

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You're smart... And I can tell a joke.

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What did the duck say to the flag? NOTHING DUCKS CANT SPEAK or flags

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What did the amputee get for Christmas? Shot.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? because she was SHITFACED!!!!

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got into the car? "Robin, get in the car."

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As little Timmy crossed the finish line his heart raced with excitement he had just won the big race. Later he and his family went home to celebrate they had pizza and chips and soft drinks. Then they played scrabble and watched spiderman 2. After that Timmy went to sleep. When his parents found him that morning they mourned and mourned because their hero little Timmy was still asleep.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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Guess what my grandma told me yesterday.. Nothing she's dead.

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Your such a whore, you most likely cut your own clothes so people will see more of your body that they find physically attractive and make a partner for sex easier to obtain

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A Jewish man died in a car crash. His family mourned his death throughout the next few years.

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What did the crippled Nazi say to the Jew? Get in the train.

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Seriously tho, too much sex? I need to know dog.

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My great grandfather died in the holocaust. He fell off the guard tower.

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What is yellow and fluffy? Green fluff, I lied about the yellow part.

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what's blue and goes blub blub? a blue blub blub

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Two Poles are walking down the street. One says "Look out, I think that's dog shit." The other man thanks him and avoids the excrement.

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What did the lemon say to the turtle? If you think the lemon said anything, something is wrong with you.

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Why didn't God show up to Jesus' bar mitzvah? Because he doesn't exist.

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i like turtals and kids

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Yo mamas so fat she's over weight

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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