What did the watermelon say to the apple? Nothing. Watermelons are fruits and incapable of speech.

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If you're happy and you know it go to hell.

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How many anti-jokes does it take to change a light bulb? Since anti-jokes are not concrete objects, any change would have to occur metaphorically or abstractly. The number of anti-jokes required would then be irrelevant.

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What's worse than a needle in a hay stack? A needle in a stack of drug addicts.

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An Irishman walks out of a bar

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Three Jews walk into a bar. One says something to the other two, but it was in Yiddish, and I don't speak that, so I don't know what he said, but all of them laughed really hard, so it must have been funny.

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Q:Why did the man throw his clock out the window A:Because he didn't like his clock

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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rishi is gay (coventry england)

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What's big,long,and mostly men use it? A submarine

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What's blue and fluffy? BLUE FLUFF What's white and fluffy? A BUNNY What's pink and fluffy? PINK FLUFF What's brown and fluffy? A PORCUPINE

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Why do black guys have brown skin ? Because there born that way

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If life throws you melons, not only might you be dyslexic, but you are probably also uneducated, since the phrase is "if life gives you lemons".

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What's green and has wheels? Boogers on a skateboard.

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I got a dig bick. You that read wrong, You read that wrong too.

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a fish swimming in the water swims

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What happened when a man drove up to an escort and said "want to check my bags?" The escort replied "Certainly, sir" due to the fact the escort worked at a hotel.

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What's the difference between Mike Tyson and Anna Nicole Smith? Mike Tyson's not dead.

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Comedy.

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Lil' Wayne

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A horse walk into the bar, the bar tender asked, why the long face the horse unable to understand English takes a shit and walk away.

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Knock knock Knock knock Knock knock I have outsimers Wait why am i here?

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If a tree falls in a neigheorohood lots of people hear it.

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A guy walks into a bar. He was an alcoholic and it was destroying his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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