A Muslim, a Jew, and a Christian find a magical lamp with a genie inside. He offers each of them one wish. The Muslim wishes that people didn't look at his people as terrorists. The Jew wishes that the Holocaust never happened, and the Christian wishes for world peace. Actually this didn't happen, Genies don't exist.

There was this guy who walked in the bar with one shoe. The bartender asks what happened. The man said the shoe didn't fit. So the bartender ask where is the other shoe. The man said he threw it away. The bartender looks in the trashcan and sure enough he sees his other shoe. The bartender says "This is the same size as your other shoe. Why are you wearing one shoe?" The man says "I'm just playing a prank on you. There's a hidden camera over there and over there. Is it okay if I can put you on YouTube?" and the bartender says "No."

What do you get if you cross a banana, a mango, and an apple? A smoothie

i don't get it...none of these are funny.

A guy trips a blind man.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Someone threw birdseed.

Why wasn't there a rainbow? It didn't rain.

why did little johnny scream. he was getting torn to pieces

Why did Riley cross the road? A: I lied he started to then proceeded to get hit by a bus filled with children causing them all to be scarred for life.

A ninja walks into a bar the bartender asks "what would you like?" The ninja says "i'll have two green eyes" the bartender says "we dont have green eyes this is america" so the ninja is so mad that he goes home and brutally beats his wife with a spatula.

how much is a microwave full of dead babies? a fridge full of dead puppies.

Two Penn-State Advisors walk into a butt.

Roses? are red Violets are blue, Kangaroos like Oranges, Poems suck, Refrigerator.

How do you make friends with a squrriel? Trust me, don't.

what does the NAACP stand for? Now Apes Are Called People.

Roses are grey Violets are grey Because I'm colorblind

Why did the blond laugh at work? Because she farted. It was rather uncomfortable for everyone involved.

Knock knock. Is someone there?

Q:Whats the difference between a black man and a park bench? A: A park bench can support a family.

A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, its because your wearing a suit and on the front door it says no people in suits are allowed." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

Knock Knock? Who's there? Dr. Fishbourne Dr. Fishbourne? Yea, I've come to inform you that your son has committed suicide due to lack of parental care and love.

Q: how much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? A: 14

Why did the jewish man pick up a nickel on the street? Because he understands the value of saving money.

How do you feed a mockingbird? Give it some food.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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