you and your family will die tonight

guess what what that wasnt it

What do you call a baby with no arms nor legs? An infant lacking limbs.

why was the old man cold? ...WHY?

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I peek in your window, Yes, I'm watching you

A dog walks into the local newspaper to place an ad. The dog writes; "woof woof, woof woof woof." Receptionist: You know you can ad another two woofs for the same price? Dog: Well that wouldn't make any sense at all?

What did Chuck Norris say to the man that asked for his autograph? He happily obliged and continued on with his day.

While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Two Girls One Cup

What's big, red, and eats rocks? A big, red, rock-eater.

Soccer...

A man with short term memory loss loses his memory every day. His last memory before his accident is the day he escaped this hostpital and murdered a family of five. He continues to do this every day and he is known in Mexico as cincochico.

So what do you guys wanna do?? Anything, I still have cancer..

Why did the cookie go to the doctor's office? He had brain cancer.

There was a Black and a Mexican in a car, they were on their way to church.

Knock, Knock Why did you just say knock knock?

(approach girl) How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to fit into the same dress as you

A black guy, an asian guy, and a white guy jump off a cliff, who lands first? Well, newton's first law states that every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. So it depends on who weighs the most.

Want to hear a joke? Me neither.

What did the circle say to the square? Ur a square

What do you call a fat man in a tiny pipe? Stuck.

chuck norris threw a grande and killed 50 people then the grande blew up

Your mother's so fat that affects her self esteem.

A paraplegic walks into a bar.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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