two guys walk into a bar. the third guy ducks

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What's worse that finding a worm in your apple? Half the holocaust

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Q:What did the furry say to the other? A: Probably nothing, cant be easy speaking with a dick in your mouth...

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A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, He said 'No'. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever. He said 'no'. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, Once again, he replied 'no'. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said.. 'Asking emotionally charged hypothetical questions that are completely irrelevant to the prior conversation is known as fishing for compliments. Except, your tears seem to reflect a more serious inner emotional neediness. I suggest you seek a psychologist.'

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why did one crayon give another crayon the silent treatment? because they are crayons, unable to speak

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Why 't the blonde dial 911? Because phones haven't had dials on them for at least 40 years or so. She can however punch it in on her keypad.

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? playing spin the bottle with your mom

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Q.What happens when you win a trophy? A. You don't, there is always someone better than you.

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A black man didn't walk into a bar

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Guess what I saw today?..........Nothing I'm Blind.

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How do you make time fly? You throw a clock off a building

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A kid goes to Band Camp and comes back better at the Trumpet.

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A very unattractive girl bent over in front of me. I proceeded to be sick, and then I choked on my sick. I died. My family mourn my death every day.

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Yo momma so ugly she looks like a penis

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Your mother is so old that she is dead.

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Chuck Norris can beat an eleven-year-old in a fight.

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Why didn't the black man feed his family? They'd eaten about an hour ago.

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what did the boy say to the girl? make me a sandwich.

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What did the girl say when she arrived at the party? "I like what you did with the furniture!"

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have amnesia Roses are red

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A family's house was possessed by ghosts causing them great fear and discomfort. Who are they gonna call? A real estate agent.

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Knock Knock Who's There Santa Santa Who? I stole your dog.

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guess what? What? you have to guess...your mama

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How do you know it's a Mexican's birthday? They bring cupcakes to school for your entire class to enjoy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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