- Anti Joke

what did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede!

Why did the lion go to the doctor? He was hungry for man flesh. -John R-

Knock Knock Who's there? A mormon slam

What does A duck smoke? Quack

WHATS BALCK AND YELLOW AND UNDER WATER? A BUMBLE BEE IN A SUBMARINE.... YEAH YOU BETTER #$%^ING LAUGH YOU HOMO

Yo momma is so fat, I gave her a cupcake and she enjoyed it.

how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple??? You... Lol jk no there could be alot of things like getting raped, the holocaust, me killing your children i mean someone killing your children. Because if it was me you would know it was me and file a report and i would be arrested and be sent to jail. And in jail i would try my hardest to stay alive brcause if i died that would suck. I would also try not to drop the soap beacuse i might get rapped by some prisib mate, also the floors are quite dirty and that would guve me any type of bacteirial infection like the stupid yeats infection or maby the persob who takes it from me when i finnish would get aids cause it dropped on the floor and who knows were it was. Then he would die from aids and his wife and or kids would be sad and set up a funeral were a preist would stand in akward silence cause the guy murderd the preists father so he wouldnt be mean an ruin the funeral but he wouldnt say anything nice. But after the funeral the preist would go back home and smoke a cigarette because he has started an unhealthy habbit just like millions of people around the world. When will people learn that it kills you faster than cancer well some cancers are quite quick and painless like a head tumor. But most tumors are able to be saved because the doctors are smart these days coming from yale or havord universitys and what not. Most peopel want to take the easy way out by just working at kinkos or wallmart. Both jobs are shit wich is why im probably going to go there cause no one else will except me in there offices or departments. I think its the fact i look like a pedofile trying to kill babys but you know how life is short and difficult to control but you have one life why waste it. Stupid emo kids trying to cut emselfs and shoot themselfs so they dont have to deal with theirs or their partners periods because the other day coming back from mc donalds this guy almost hit me with his car and threw a cup at me for some strange reason but hey not my problem unless he was my first victim?...... Lol jk i have never killed anyone and im not that creapy... Awks POTATO!!!

Why was the blonde crying? Because she just watched her infant get sucked into a jet engine and she was very sad.

Why couldn't the blonde drive? Because she was 14, thus incapable of having a drivers license

How do you get a baby out of a blender? Pour it.

What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? 12:00

What do you call a black airman? A pilot!

Why didn't the skeleton go to th party? Because he was dead.

What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eyepatch? Names.

Once upon a time, a story teller used the "once upon a time" metaphor in order to tell you your parents have died in a terrible accident

Jews... The only funny thing they did was piss off Adolf Hitler

what do you call a animal with 3 horns. a triceratops

ONE DAY THE SKY OPENS AND SUDDENLY Gad: Jews, you are my chosen people! Jews: YAY! GODS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA BATHE IN RICHES AND YOU WILL COMMAND US TO RAID AND RAPE LANDS! FOR OURSELVES! AND EVERYTHING! Gad: Eh... Well, actually I was thinking more like... Jews: YAY WE ARE GONNA CONQUER THE WORLD! GAD IS WITH US NAO! Right Gay? I mean Gad... Cough... Gad: Err, well cough suuure, I mean... Jews: YAY! WE ARE GADS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA GET MIGHTY! Moral: "You do not want to be "Gods chosen" people!" Btw, you telling me Jewsus was not a Jew? Hmm?

what a filthy dirty mess also dirt

What do you call a black guy, a white guy, a mexican guy, and a chinese guy jumping out of a plane? Skydivers.

An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

Hitler was in a shampoo advert that everyone bought Now people must be dying to take a shower

A plane crashes on the border of the United States and Canada. Where do they bury the survivors? Why would they bury the survivors? THEY'RE ALIVE

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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