What's the best way to look 10 pounds thinner? Lose 10 pounds

A family of aristocrats walks into a talent agency and shows their performance. The talent agent asks: "How do you call yourselves?" They say: "The Aristocrats", "because that's what we are; Aristocrats."

A woman walked into a bar at least that is what she tells her friends about how she got a blackeye.

What do you call a black man sitting on your couch? A house guest.

why did the farmer cry after a phone call? he just found out his wife just died of lung cancer

why couldn't the chicken cross the road? it was hit and killed by a vehicle, much like all animals that try and cross roads. created by KA

What do you get if your mailman drops your letter in black paint? Blackmail

Whats the square root of x^2? Variables cant be gay

What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

Q. Why was the dad sad? A.His favorite team lost in the championship.

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Thats impossible because he cannot walk.

Poop

Q

Why was Martin Luther King Jr. Shot? Because he was black.

Why did the blond do so horribly on the SAT's? She was pulled outside halfway through her testing session by the school janitor who molested and murdered her in the bathroom.

Why didn't the lactose intolerant man get a drink at the bar? He was the designated driver.

Q: What do you call a hobo asking for change? A: Get off my driveway!

Whas the difference between a boy going to a camp and a jewish boy going to camp? The jewish boys does not come back.

Two penguins were taking a bath. One said "pass the soap." The second penguin replied, "What do you think I am, a typewriter?"

knock knock whos there? the police, your under arrest

Why did the Mexican cross the road? To get home.

What's green and has wheels? Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

Why did the deer die Because Jupiter is incapable of supporting life

A man is training his dog. He tells the dog to sit. The dog sits. "Good boy!" said the man. The dog did not thank the man for the compliment because dogs cannot speak.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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