What did the cat say to the dog? "Meow."

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A woman walked into a bar at least that is what she tells her friends about how she got a blackeye.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting cancer from a horse.

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A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

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knock knock whose there? it's me, Connie oh hi Connie, wont you come in? oh i was just wandering if i could borrow your scotch tape ofcourse! one moment please. no problem. say, hows phil been? oh he's great, he just got a new job! here's your scotch tape! thank you so much! ....................... what a perfect scene. It is very unfortunate, though, for as Connie walked away from the family whom she borrowed the tape from, a car came by and with a single strike, killed her. this proves that nothing is perfect.

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Q: What was the little boy doing in the deep end of the swimming pool? A: Drowning.

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One is fun to hit with a bat and the others a watermelon

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What did the man do when he saw there was water spilled on his desk? He waited two hours for it to evaporate because he was too lazy to wipe it up.

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Roses are red Kittens are fluffy This doesn't rhyme Cupcake

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What do you call a clock with no hands? Broken.

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What is the best thing about chuck norris? hes holding a gun to my hea

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what are you called if your really funny but you not smart? the class clown

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What did the man from Hiroshima see when he looked up at the sky on August 6th, 1945? Some birds.

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Hi Shelby!!

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Q: "What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?" A: Dr. Dre

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, The Holocaust. And also cancer.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two.

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ROSS G IS OBESE

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a fish.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "What'll it be?" The man quietly gazes out at the other people in the bar. He continues to do this for a while, until eventually the bartender calmly taps him on the shoulder to get his attention, and the man turns to look over at him. "What can I get you today?" He asks the man. "What?" the man replies. Turns out he's deaf. Who knew?

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0 + 0 = 0

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What do you get after putting bread in a toaster? -Toast.

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I've done a lot of soul searching, and.... I've realized.... the & symbol really looks like a man dragging his butt on the ground.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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