What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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A turkey and a ham walk into a room. The ham says to the turkey "You're a turkey." The turkey in response says, "Yeah, well you're a ham!" They both then get their heads chopped off, as the room they were in was a slaughterhouse.

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Q. How do you kill a dumb blonde? A. Shoot her.

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what did the pregnant black woman say to the white man I'm pregnant

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What do you get when you mix a deer and a pickle? A very odd dinner.

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Your mom is so fat, She should go to a doctor because her cholesterol is abnormally high.

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What;s worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.

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Did you hear about the new pirate movie? It was rated PG-13.

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Joey mayer's face

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Jingle bells Batman smells WHERE IS SHE??!!?!?!?

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What do you get when you mix tea and sugar? sweet tea...

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A fat man fell on him

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A Jew, a Muslim and an atheist meet at the same bus station. A religious argument breaks out shortly and the three board their respective buses angry and upset. They were a really bad example of religious tolerance.

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why cant Joey jump for joy? beacause hes dead

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How many fools does it take to change a light bulb? A lot.

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Would you like a better house, car, spouse, and a better life all together? No, no thanks.

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What's the difference of 13 and 4? 9

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 killed 9.

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man boobs

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Knock, Knock ..... ..... No one is home, they've been evicted.

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Why couldn't the young girl play outside with her friends? She was bed ridden with terminal cancer.

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Yo mama so fat that.....NooNoooNooooooo (strips)

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Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

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A man who was clearly tired and worn out enters a bar. The bartender says "Long night, eh?" The man responds "Yes, very. I was with my girlfriend." The bartender says in response "Well I'm sure that was a fun time, if you know what I'm sayin." "No, not really" says the man. Little did the bartender know, the man's girlfriend was a dominatrix.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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