Whats the best way to get a woman to sleep with you? Rape her

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a black priest? HOLY SHIT!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Whats big, yellow and red? a school bus with a bunch of dead children.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why are they the "living" daylights?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: Why do so many people write "So a man walked into a bar" A: Because they lack the intellect to think of something creative, and still other peoples material.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why couldn't the kid get into the pirate movie? Tickets were sold out.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

knock knock whose there? my penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock Knock . . . I'm coming in!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse world in which we live.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Two cannibals were eating a clown. Good.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

why did the cow die because she ate poisoned apple pie

thumb_up thumb_down -7

a

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what did the lawyer say to the doctor? hello.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the dog smile? It didn't. Humans are the only creatures on planet Earth capable of smiling, therefore, dogs are unable to smile.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the pear say to the plum? Nobody knows - the plum was deaf and didn't hear, the pear knows only dirty words in sign language, and there was nobody else around to overhear.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's the cure to Ebola? Suicide

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A man walks into a bar with a sad-looking face. He orders a strong drink. The bartender asks him "What's wrong? You seem down." The man answers "Well, tough week. My wife was raped and murdered and my son was hit by a bus."

thumb_up thumb_down -9

whats woorse then being stupid? kaelynn... aka big head

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Girl: what comes after 69? Boy: 70. Girl: no,toothpaste! Boy: ...

thumb_up thumb_down -9

The early bird gets the worm, but the angry bird gets the pig.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer? This would be unlikely to happen, as it would cut the story short.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: What has 1 eye and half of a pig's snout? A: A pig peeking around a corner.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the boy do before school? Jacked off.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the blind lawyer say to the doctor? We're both lawyers!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops