Friends are like potatoes. If you eat them they die.

How does Bob Marley like his donuts? He doesn't, he tragically died of melanoma in 1981.

A muslim gets on a plane. He is then flown to his destination.

Why didnt the black man run the marathon? He was in jail

Why did the pig have a band-aid? Because he had a whole in his foot.

Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

What's worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm in it? Biting into you apple and finding two worms in it.

Q.) How do you fit a baby into a bowl? A.) With a blender! Q.) How do you get it out? A.) With Tostitos! -Sebastian and Chris (aka 100 and Zelot) (we did not make this joke, we just had to share it)

Chuck Norris didn't count to infinite twice. He can't even do it once.

One cold winter day in Russia, a man asked a tree if he was cold. The tree did not reply, and the man became depressed.

What is brown and gurgles? dead baby casserole

Q: What do you call a dog after the dentist? A: A dog.

Q: Your arms are tied and bleeding from your face, a bull is charging at you, a catapult launches a bunch of rottweilers with rabies straight at your face, a nuclear bomb right next to you is five seconds from exploding, and my teleportation device ia right next to you, what do you do? A: You start by getting your own damn teleportation device! The hell ill let you bleed on mine!

Whats the difference between a car and a dead child? I don't have a dead baby in my basement.

A black man walks up to a bank teller and pulls out a gun, he proceeds to tell the bank teller he saw a white man drop it outside the bank.

Roar, roar! I am the king of the jungle! But did you know the lion would be defeated by a polar bear in a battle between the two?

how do you get a baby to stop swinging from a fan whack it with a shovel

women outside of the kitchen

What is purple and green at the same time? Grapes, I lied about at the same time.

alert("The Game");//

A Mexican and a black guy are in a car. Who's driving? The Mexican.

Q) Whats wet fishy and gets caught by fishermen? A) fish.

Knock Knock Hows there Theres no time for this you have AIDS

An Asian woman is driving home from work. She gets in an accident and is killed instantly. Her family is traumatized.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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