What's the difference between Santa and Tiger Woods? Santa is a jolly Christmas figure that delivers presents to children and Tiger Woods is a professional golfer.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What is the answer to the universe? I would tell you but you would get board.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What did the one man say to the other? Nothing, they didn't know eachother

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did the little girl fall down She was shot in the leg

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stappled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did Susie fall of the swing? She didn't have any arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Susie

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Yo momma's so dumb, she's not smart.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A man was building a new kitchen for his wife. Just as he was installing the sink, his wife comes running into the kitchen and starts cursing. "What's the matter?" he asks. "Don't you like the new sink?" His wife replies, "I love it. But come quick, there's a spider in the living room!" The man walks over with a paper towel, grabs the spider, and throws it into the garbage. The wife looks at the husband, smiling, and says, "Thanks."

thumb_up thumb_down +31

what is 6.9? a good thing ruined by a period

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Your mom is so fat that she is fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

whats small and has four hoofs? A sow

thumb_up thumb_down +27

YOU SUCK RYAN V!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! U SUCK BALLS!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you call a man who has committed more than 10 crimes? Whatever his name happens to be.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

- Knock knock - I have a doorbell

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the small child fall down the stairs? Because he had lung cancer was in a wheel chair and I was incredibly tempted to push him down the stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How did the man with no arms or legs cross the street? He didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

3 people walk into a bar. They order the same drinks. Upon receiving these drinks, they all promptly left. This is not a funny joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A chicken cross's the road it dies when a car runs it over

thumb_up thumb_down +25

what did the black guy say to his friend who was on acid? man you trippin.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did the blind man say to the librarian? Hello, I am looking for books that are published in braille.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why didn't the boy get any presents for christmas ? Because sadly his father is an alcoholic and cant support him nor his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt will thank you.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's the difference between 10 dead babies and a red sports car? A red sports car was never a living organism.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How much carlins does it take to screw in a light bulb? One

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops