What do you call a thirsty girl? H2Hoe

Can Helen Keller keep a secret? No, she didn't hear it in the first place

Why is Ian a virgin? Because he watches cartoon porn

How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

What do people do in France when they are hungry? Get something to eat.

So a seal walks into a bar... ...seals can't walk.

i hate it when Voldemort showers in my nutella

How did Helen Kellers parents punish her? They moved the furniture.

what did the turkey say on thanks giving? Nothing, he's dead, we ate him!

Going for the Dislike record woot I farted!

Roses are red. Violets are purple. Haha. Purple.

your joke is so unoriginal. i had heard the joke before.

A shark walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face. The shark replies i dont have cancer just a terrible drinking problem.

Why did Patrick cross the road Because he saw a rock

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

what did helen keller name her dog? scruffy

What do you call a sandwich that has sandwich on it? A sandwich.

a chinese man and an irishman walk into a bar. This is odd because these men are from countries extremely far apart from one another

Why did the spider cross the road? He was stapled to the chickens back.

What's the difference between babies and butter? You can't pitchfork butter.

Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

a catholic priest and a young boy

Dave: Say "game" ten times fast Bud: Game, game, game, game, gay ma, gay ma, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay

In soviet Russia - some people were poor.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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