A dog walks into a bar and falls on his butt beacause dogs cant walk.

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mat: whats 2+2? emma: how long we lasted

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What starts with P and ends in O-R-N? Popcorn.

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A man walks into a store and says "Roses are red, Violets are blue, there is a bomb strapped to my chest, give me all the money"

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knock knock. who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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Q. how did the blond get a college degree in medicine? A. she studied hard and aced her final exam.

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Why did jimmy fall of his bike? Because jimmy was a goldfish

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"Have you heard the skyscraper joke?" "No." "Oh. Well I don't feel like telling it to you."

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How do you tell if a politician is lying? You make him take a polygraph test.

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Whats Green and has wheels? Grass, I was kidding about the wheels.

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wat did the candle say to the lighter? nothing candles cant speak because they are inamimate objects, even so i think a candle would just scream anyway, would you buy a screaming candle?

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Q: What do you get when you put an ice cube, a grasshopper, a cell phone battery, and a human finger in a freezer? A: A very strange mix of objects indeed.

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what is white and red all over? a ginger

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alright whoever posted it, like this, then comment your first name

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Question : Why did the boy need to change his pants? Answer: During recess, the little boy was running to fast and fell on the ground. Then kid he has been bullying pissed on his leg.

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You want to hear a joke? Democract

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You are reading this.Ya you the fat one

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Why cant women drive? Actually, they can

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Q .What robin told to batman before they got into the car? A. Get into the car!!

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How did Helen Keller meet her husband? On a blind date.

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Roses are red,nuts are brown,skirts go up,pants go down,body to body, skin to skin, when its stiff, stick it in,the longer its in, the stronger it gets,it goes in dry, comes out wet, its comes out dripping and starts to sag Its not what you think its a...Teabag

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What do you call someone in Manhattan who goes to see a Broadway show and then stops in at a local bar for a few drinks? A taxi, if they request you do so.

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What's there like a good neighbor? Your neighbor

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Why are elephants big, grey, and wrinkled? Because if they were small, white, and round they'd be called aspirin.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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