One day I was walking in the forest when I saw a squirrel get hit by a van. It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What would Martin Luther King Jr. be today if he was white? Alive.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

this is an anti joke.... Get it yet

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What's the difference between a black guy and a picnic table? Many things, really. Beginning with simple structural features such as the number of legs, of which there happen to be four on a generic picnic table, and two on a human being. One might observe that a typical african american male is between 5'8" and 6'2" in total length, whereas a picnic table, being made to support 6-8 people will generally be slightly longer. A black guy will generally be pictured standing upright. A picnic table is usually horizontally laid out upon a flat surface. The former is living or dead, the latter is usually nonliving, processed wood or metal. The former may move about from day to day of its own accord, the latter is completely stationary, and indeed very difficult to relocate, etc.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Lilys are from england violets from japan. I've got a knife now get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Do you know how I know that you're gay? You told me you are gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What band protects hope in current music? Nickelback.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause your mom has cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -34

why did the black man buy a gun? he was a hunter.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

12 22 giraffe hippo 66 otter zebra cat 99 okay, the end

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Question : Why did the boy need to change his pants? Answer: During recess, the little boy was running to fast and fell on the ground. Then kid he has been bullying pissed on his leg.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

A hot girl walks by a boy and he stares at her as she walks past. She see's him and asks "What are you looking at?", to which the boy replied "Oh I'm sorry. You happened to look familiar and I thought 'Perhaps I've met this person before. School? No. Work? No. I then concluded I've never seen you before and then you turned around and asked me what I was looking at".

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Whats purple and fluffy? Purple Fluff

thumb_up thumb_down -62

Q: How many Jew does it take to change a light bulb? Here is the answer: A: A lightbulb cannot be changed, it either is or isn't. Do you mean replace a burned-out bulb with a new one? Here, in this case, with design, logistics, manufacturing, marketing of just that single bulb- there are many people involved. It could be argued that we all play some small part in the process. ------ Nothing to see here, end of the joke. :)

thumb_up thumb_down +79

Why cant Michael Jackson take flying lessons? Because he overdosed on pain killers, and is now dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +73

what do you call a fish without eyes? a fshhhhh

thumb_up thumb_down +63

Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Have you seen the size of their fingers!?!?!

thumb_up thumb_down +61

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

What did the man get when he found a genie in a lamp? The rest of his life in an asylum for schizophrenia.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Life is like a box of chocolates. You eat them. get fat. Die.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Why was the baseball player arrested after stealing a base? Because he pulled out a knife and stabbed the shortstop in the chest.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

What's a Mexican's favorite sport? It varies from person to person.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

- Ask me if I'm a firetruck. - Are you a firetruck? - No.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

why did the fox jump over the pen ? it was tuesday

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops