Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why don't you have a seat, over there?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

This is not Will Smith.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why'd Sally fall of the swing She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not sally

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What is the difference between a black man and a bike? Bikes are not human beings and therefore cannot experience the ups and downs a human being experiences.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

hi my name is? joe

thumb_up thumb_down +12

cheese

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Obama.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Two black guys are in an elevator, one guy gets off at the sixth floor, and the other on the eighth. And thats it.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do a bunch of dead babies look like in a blender? I don't know I was too busy masturbating.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A boy goes into Mourne View and meets a girl what happens next? He's now a father living off of the dole.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: where did the pickle live? A: In the desert

thumb_up thumb_down +10

you, me and i need to stop doing meth!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a kid with no arms annd legs? Names

thumb_up thumb_down +8

"I love you, you love me" And you didn't just read that; you sang it.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what a tomato would say if his friend would be hit by a car? Nothing because tomatoes can't speak

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock knock. Who's there? The police. We have reason to believe you are hiding large amounts of narcotics in your residence and have obtained a search warrant for the premises. Open the door or we will be required to use forceful means of entry.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

wanna hear a really funny joke? sure women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? Because they were part of his uniform.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's the difference between a Mercedes and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Mercedes in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2qg6AkhIYVs

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Person 1: It's your birthday? Person 2: Yeah! Person 1: Oh.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

There was a deaf guy who heard a mute guy tell someone that a blind guy saw a guy with no legs win the marathon

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops