Okay so two penquins are sitting in a bathtub when one asks the other "Hey pass the soap!". The other one jokingly replies "what do I look like a typewriter?"

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A bear walks into a bar and says to the barman "I'll have a pint of................ beer please." The barman says "why the big pause?"

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what did the 0 say to the 8 nice belt

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Slavery

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When Chuck Norris is bitten by a zombie, Chuck Norris doesn't turn into a zombie, the zombie turns into Chuck Norris

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Doctor: “Knock Knock” Patient: “Who's there?” Doctor: “The interrupting Doctor” Patient: “The inter- Doctor: You have cancer.

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What is the difference between a black guy and a bucket of crap? Well, one consists of two inanimate objects (a bucket and feces) and the other is a human being of African/African-American descent. As you can see there really is no real comparison here.

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whats funny? ebola and 911

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How did the fireman get the cat out of the tree? He shot it.

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roses are red, violets are blue, fudge is sweet, heres some fudge.

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You know what helps with sholder pain? If you lick my butthole.

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How did the jew reply to the racist comment? Judaism is not a race, it's a religion.

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Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

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A feminist walked into a bar and had her period

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Why can't Sally brush her hair? Because she has leukemia.

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hi my name is? joe

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Why'd Sally fall of the swing She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not sally

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Knock, knock. Who's there? It's Bob. Oh hi, Bob, come on in.

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What do a bunch of dead babies look like in a blender? I don't know I was too busy masturbating.

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A boy goes into Mourne View and meets a girl what happens next? He's now a father living off of the dole.

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Q: where did the pickle live? A: In the desert

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Two black guys are in an elevator, one guy gets off at the sixth floor, and the other on the eighth. And thats it.

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what a tomato would say if his friend would be hit by a car? Nothing because tomatoes can't speak

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? My ass.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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