Q: Where does a hooker go for her footlong? A: Subway

What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? Tiger Woods is an American professional golfer whose achievements to date rank him among the most successful golfers of all time and Santa Claus is a very jolly fellow who brings gifts to the homes of the good children during the late evening and overnight hours of Christmas Eve.

What did the 5 year old girl ask Santa for Christmas? A pony.

There's a American, Mexican, and a Canadian stranded in the desert. They couldn't find any food, water, and shelter. They were all really hungry and thirsty. Later that day the Mexican dies from a very bad infection on his neck.

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Why didn't the baby drive the car? Because its a baby.

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Kittens.

What do you call a black person in 1780? A slave mostly...

Fat people are harder to kidnap!!

What did the mouse say to the elephant? Squeak.

yo mama is so fat, she should seriously consider gastric bypass surgery, morbid obesity is extremely detrimental to one's health

Why doesn't Santa come in the Summer? Because it's not Christmas.

"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Your landlord, clear out your stuff by tuesday"

How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None

what do you call someone that is dying of malaria? someone that should consider visiting a doctor.

Roses are read Violets are not green Chicken is good KFC baby, time to get lean

So Mel Gibson walks into a bar, and then everyone left.

why did the boy buy a dirty magizine? he should not have, its been on the floor. who wants to read the rolling stone magizine if it has dirt on it. how dumb of him.

Hi, my name is Mark and I have dead babies in my garage... Just kidding. My name is not Mark.

I man walks into a bar. He got drunk.

What's more boring than watch grass grow? Watching grass not grow.

How do you wake Lady Gaga up? Poker face

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock Knock. Who's there? It's the chicken.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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