Jasper sucks.

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Q: How do you kill a blonde? A: Put M&M's on the bottom of a pool, and tell her to arrange them in alphabetical order. By the time she starts to question this, the poison should be kicking in.

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What the diffrence between a jew and a pizza? The pizza doesn't scream when it goes in the oven

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roses are red violets are blue ill cut your dick off and use it as glue

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A seal walks into a club.

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why can't Helen Keller drive? because she's a women

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A priest and a prostitute are sitting next to each other on a bus. The priest asks her what she does, and she says "I sell my body to strange men." The priest then explains to her about Christianity, and she gives up her ways and becomes a devout Christian.

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what's better than animal crackers? your mom.

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Is this the krusty krab? No, this is Patrick

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Why was the farmer buried in a grave on the top of a hill? He had died and this would be his final resting place.

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I am really good at math debating

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Why did the Mexican drive the car off cliff? Because he wanted to.

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"did you hear about the midget's self-murder?" "No, what happend?" "He jumped off the curb"

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Why did the blonde stare at the carton of orange juice? Because she was lost in her thoughts about her dead husband, and how much he loved orange juice.

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Why do they call you the interrup... SHUT UP!

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It is cruel to want a "sky full of lighters" as, according to the Laws of Gravity, the lighters will eventually come back down to earth and incinerate everything below them.

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How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask them politely to turn down their volume.

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Did you hear about the guy with seven fingers? You should, because almost everybody has seven fingers.

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A woman goes to the doctor.....She has terminal cancer.

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Why did the Jew pick up the penny? Because he dropped it

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

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Bill is at a bar with a couple of his college buddies. He notices another one of his friends, Jim, who has his back faced to him, and calls him. The man turns and it is not Jim. Bill apologizes and they carry on with their lives.

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This one time, at band camp we played in a band

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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