Whats the definition of helpless? A quadraplegic in a washing machine

thumb_up thumb_down +21

your life

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Nice legs, what time do they open the free bar, I'd like to by you a drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q:How do you make an accountant cry ? A: You kill his whole family

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Are you well? No, I'm not a well, I'm a person.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What happened to the man that never got picked up? He died of a brain aneurysm, the ambulance never came.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Two cows are standing in a field One cow says "Mooooo"..... and the other cow says "mooooo" also because they are both cows and cannot speak

thumb_up thumb_down +15

In Soviet Russia, everyone leads a perfectly normal life.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

beiber i straight

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How many Jews can you fit in a car? Statistically speaking, in a brief survey done by the United States Traffic Commission, they stated that a standard 4-door sedan had the highest percentile of drivers. So, in regards to the legal system, a person may only fit, in fact, 5 jews in a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a man with no arms or legs wearing lead weights in a pool? Screwed.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

snooki from jersey shore walks into a bar and gets arrested.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A peice of dust floats into a bar. Its a peice of dust so no one notices it.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

SAY

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Poop

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: A black person and a white person decided to have a race, who won? A: The black person, as he exercised and worked out on a regular basis, making him very fast.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

The jets are a good team..

thumb_up thumb_down +7

"Doctor do i have aids?" asked the worried 13-year old.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do babies and caterpillars have in common? They're both dead. Except the caterpillar.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

CHEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Jack Oliver has a Bowl.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Canada

thumb_up thumb_down +3

This joke isnt funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a brunette between two blonds? Probably their friend. How should I know?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops