What's big, black, wide, long, and has white lines all over it? A new highway road.

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What's yellow and smells like piss? Urine.

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What do you call an anti joke website? http://anti-joke.com

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Teacher: Maria please point to America on the map. Maria: This is it. Teacher: Well done. Now class, who found America? Class: Maria did.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? 9/11

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There are four worms moving in a straight line, one in front of the other. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied.

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When did the black man go to the pharmacy and why ? His wife , for whom he cared very much , had a cold and he had to get her prescription for her . On top of that , he had a horrible problem problem with painkillers that caused him to have an aneurysm on the way there .

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What do you call a shop dedicated to selling watermelon, fried chicken and corn bread? A poor business model.

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A blond, a brunette and a redhead are all trapped on a desert island. They work together and manage to survive until help arrives.

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what happened to the mexican who dropped his ice cream at work? He got a raise, won the $5 billion jackpot, was given ten car dealerships, then died.

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What's funnier than 24? 25.

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I have read and agree to terms of service.

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So I walked upstairs and I told the guy, "No." And he then asks, "Why?"

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What did the bullied schoolboy do when he got home from school? He cried himself to sleep.

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A man walks into a store, and says to the cashier: "I'd like to buy 6 fridges". The cashier says: "Why do you need that many fridges?" The man says: "I'm an antelope!"

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A blonde walks into a store and asks for the microwave behind the counter. The man behind the register promptly hands her the microwave and charges her $435 for it, which is utterly ridiculous.

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The geese of Growmore

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How do you have sex with an amputee? stick it in the eyes

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Ben is gay

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What's green and wheels? Your mom.

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How did Hellen Keller's parents torture her? They made her go to bed when she wasn't very sleepy

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Why do women where make-up and perfume? because they are ugly and they smell bad.

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One drunk bug looks over to another drunk bug and guess what it says? Your a glitch

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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