Justin Bieber's gay!! My butt is sexier!(;

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If you just read this, You're dead.

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With all due respect, I do underestimate myself, there is not a single person I know that has not told me that, but if I wanted to, I would not even had to make the effort to have you removed, hell I had to pull favors and owe people things in order to keep you safe. I could have said the rest of you, but had I not known you, had you not been one of my co-workers back then, I would not have gone to the extremes that i did, you are beautiful, but what does that have to do with anything? Do you think that if I did not know you I would go "that one is sexy, release her?" Even if I did, I do not have authority, I work for them.

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Who will win in a fight Chuck Norris or Chuck Norris? I don't even know who he is -Lets go METS!!!!!!

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How do you make a person dissapear? You can't that would break the laws of physics, so therefore rendered impossibe.

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so a man walks into a bar...... He has a couple laughs over some drinks then went home.

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Why did Billy die? His mother killed him.

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Anti-jokes are funny.

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Why was the girl-scout crying? I hit her in the knee with a baseball bat.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

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A rabi and a priest go out for a coffee they talk for a while and go on there way

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what is black and white and read all over? a bankrupt newspaper that cannot afford color ink because the accountant misplaced company funds.

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why did the boat crash? a tomato was driving

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How many Babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you throw them

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What do you call someone that blows up a plane? Nothing you were on that plane

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Q-What did the blonde say when I stomped on her toe? A: asdfsdflsdrfjkofweønaweøiofioawef, .Would you be ever so kind to move your foot as it is currently in a position of where it causes my nerves to send pain impulses to my brain. Thanks

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Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

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Bill: Hey Bob guess what? Bob:What? Bill: your adopted

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What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

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Person 1 Hey man what's up Person 2 nothing much I just impregnated your mom

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why was there no toothpaste left in the toothpaste tub? someone squeezed it all in a drawer

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interviewer: young man, do you think you can handle a variety of work? Young man: I ought to be able to. I’ve had 12 different jobs in 4 months.

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What starts with a J, and burned in the oven? My Jumbalaya, i left it in for too long...

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He was at Victoria's Secret and he wasn't watching where he was going.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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