Q: How do you make a baby float. A: Put it in a blender and add ice cream.

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How do you leave a jackass in suspense? I'll tell you later.

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What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

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Q. What happened to the women who cut her finger? A. she got staff infection and died.

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Your mamas so fat, that any level of physical exercise is strenuous, but also mentally challenging, as she feels that there is a negative astigmatism attached to sweaty, red-faced overweight individuals trying to burn those pounds. This in turn makes her ashamed of the gastronomically decadent life she once lived, and so she doesn't have the confidence to try and reverse the damage she did during those insecure teenage years, instead comforting herself with the sugary, fatty bane of her life. She therefore lives in a vicious circle, angry at herself and the society that won't accept her. But remaining incredibly, repulsively fat.

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Two boys go down stairs on christmas day. They fall and die.

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What's green and has wheels? Weed. I lied about the wheels.

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What's big and looks like a mushroom? A Mushroom.

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What animal was two legs and bleeds a lot? half a dog

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Did you hear the one about the guy who couldn't tell any funny jokes? He went to Anti Joke and posted 1000's.

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What happened to the Jewish child that used to live life like a normal kid? Him and his family were taken to a ditch and shot to death. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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"Sticks and stones" the man said and shat on three different complex turtles

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what do u call a blonde in the libary? alexandra wallace

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Why do ducks fly south for the winter? because its to far to waddle

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

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Man: Why do you wear your wedding ring on the wrong finger? Woman: Oh, wow, thanks for pointing that out. Silly me.

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What's Red, Smells like Blue Paint, What tastes like the sea, and has been doused in the essence of the 80's? If you can come up with something, don't bother; This is a trick question. The space was to give you time to think. Forget your answer.

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Woman: do u want to watch Snakes on a Plane? Man: sure, what is it about? Woman: It's about a horse on a boat

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I was gonna make a gay joke but those are insensitive, and gays have feelings like everyone else

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roses are red tulips are too, violets are violet, not freaking blue.

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Yes or No? You're wrong because it was both.

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I pregnant woman wakes in the night because she had a mis-carriage.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, who had his car stolen and wasn't very happy so called the police.

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what do you call an albino brown bear a polar bear

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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