how do you get a girl to stop ignoring you? you kill her family with her watching.

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A kid is riding down the street when his chain pops off his bicycle. The kid yells "God damn!" as he begins to fix it. A priest walking nearby overhears the boy taking god's name in vein and says "Don't say 'God damn' say 'God help us'". The kid says, "I am an atheist, get away from me".

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was tomato...

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what did the beaver so to the rattle snake? snap your bagles

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Whats green and tasty? Snot

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Why did the little girl jump off a cliff? because she was at a cliff jump at a water park

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what was the funniest part of the titanic sinking? nothing, many innocent people were killed and left their family devastated.

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Roses are red, violets are blue Vodka is cheaper that dinner for two.

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Joshua Brown was in a dark forest, with a misty haze surrounding him. He turned quickly and flicked his hair out of his face. Dylan Hodge appeared and they had wild sex all night!

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Every 60 seconds in Africa. A minute passes.

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A skeleton walks into a bar. It's inside a person. He orders a beer and enjoys it contentedly.

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Who's better than badboy? The holocaust.

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Knock Knock! we have a door bell ...ding dong. its broken.

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What do u get when you cross Napoleon and a stick of dynamite? A very bloody mess.

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A: Knock Knock! B: Whos there? A: Its the f**king cops we have you surrounded.

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Why did the boy pick up the baseball? He wanted to play baseball.

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So I showed my friend my blind dog. He said, "Wow I've never seen a blind dog before!" I said, "they havnt seen you either."

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What is the secret to losing weight? Limb Amputation.

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Why don't blind people own cats? They do, who told you that?

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What is the difference between Jews and the boyscouts? The boyscouts come home from camp.

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What happened to the public server who went to the 5 dollar brothel? He contracted syphilis and died several months later.

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What's black and white and red all over? A bleeding penguin.

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How do you wake up Lady GaGa? You poke-poke-poker face

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree there was no monkey

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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