Chuck Norris witnessed a crime.What did he really witness? A Jehovah's witness. xD

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Why was the man angry? Because I slept with his wife.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a nice man.

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How many dead babies can u fit in a bath tub 17

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why is your mom crying? i don't know but you should be nice and offer your support.

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What is the speed limit in front of Liberace's house? 40mph because that portion of the road is curved.

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where did napolean keep his armies? In his sleevies!

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how do you get mhairi mcdonald to shut up? rip out her throat.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Boom! Splat! You'll never know.

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And if a chicken had wings it wouldn't bump it's butt when it landed.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have AIDS, Now you do too!

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David: Hey dude, I'm so hungry! Jose: Yeah me too David: Wanna get some food? Jose: No, I lied.

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What was wrong with the tree? Nothing

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9/11

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Do u know what would be a big pain in the ass? A thorn

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What did one umbrella say to the other umbrella? Nothing, umbrellas cannot instigate a conversation, because they cannot talk.

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When life gives you melons you may be dyslexic.

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why did my girlfriend fail her test? she was pregnant :'(

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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What did the Hindenburg say? -nothing it just blew up

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What do you get when you cross Chuck Norris with a cheetah? Don't do that, I'm pretty sure it's illegal for several reasons.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Wrong house. I apologize.

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Q: What is creepy and stares at you when you sleep A: Me

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there are 2 muffins in an oven they are cooked nicely and served as a tasty dessert

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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