Theres this black guy who goes to a gun shop and buys a .45 and then goes to get a permit and uses it responsibly....

thumb_up thumb_down +21

The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the Frenchman say to the Englishman? I don't know, I don't speak French.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the sloth cross the road To fuck your gay cousin

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Okay, you seem sincere enough, thing is that I trust you, but your buddies, if you can vouch for them, then I at least know that you are putting your stepmother in danger if you decide to cover for your friends, besides you being such an emotional crybaby kinda gets me into trusting you again.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

i'll leave 'em dead in the living room. get it leave 'em dead in the living room

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Why the long face?" And the horse says "I have cancer".

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Two men were walking down the road when one of them spotted an old lamp lying in a ditch. After examining the lamp's handiwork for several seconds one man rubbed the lamp with his shirt sleeve. The men then continued down the road.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Whats worse than the Holocaust. Nothing the Holocaust was the single worst thing to happen ever.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into your grandmother and finding a fish

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why do people waste time reading these jokes. Because they like anti jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How I seem math word problems Scenario: 2 astronauts kayaking in the Sahara desert Question: How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse Answer: Purple, because ice cream has no bones

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Nero I know I am being a selffish bastard, but please let me speak with you for ten more minutes or so, I am sorry but its like part of me do not believe its you, we all saw your corpse, attended your funeral, please stick with me, I just feel flustered vulnerable and stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the chicken cross the street? K

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Roses are red, violets are red. Aaaaaahh! My garden's on fire!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Do you know what the zombie said? Raaargh Brains

thumb_up thumb_down +19

why is dog animal? it is not fish! 18 fits of has hair only have is Buddhist

thumb_up thumb_down +19

If there's somethin' strange in your neighborhood Who ya gonna call 911

thumb_up thumb_down +19

An Jewish man worked at a bank, and ate chicken noodles for lunch and then stabbed and man playing the saxophone.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What city likes baseball the most? New York

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A 21 year old man walks into a bar. After looking at the menu for a minute he orders the cocktail of the day. The bartender looks at the man in disbelief because he has such a baby face and looks like a teenage kid. The bartender politely asks to see his ID. The man pulls out his wallet and shows him his drivers license. Sure enough he was the legal age of drinking. The bartender says "Thank you" and gives him his beverage.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

what's the diferance between a boner and a lambroghini? I dont have a lambroghini

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q. what is the most amazing animal in the world? A. MULLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops