what do you do when see a young girl crying on the swingset? ask her kindly to move, as you would like a turn

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Why did Bob get off the swing? Because he was done.

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How do you know when it is a Mexican's birthday? They are walking around with "happy birthday" balloons.

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what do you call cheese thats not yours? stolen, your under arrest

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Why did the man Jump of a bridge? Because he got sick of his life and he wanted to die.

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An Englishman, A Scotsman, a Welshman, an Australian, An American, A German, A Swede, A Kiwi, An Austrian, A Belgian, A Frenchman, A Chinese Guy, An Indian, A Turk, A Czech, A Canadaian, A Russian, A serbian, A Portuguese, A brazilian, An Argentine and a South African go in to a bar. The Security stops them and says "I'm sorry i can't let you in without a thai"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 'Cause you touch yourself at night;

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Why didn't the lawyer submit the car accident he endured to his local courthouse? He was dying of internal brain damage from the shards of glass lodged in his brain from flying through the windshield.

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Justin Bieber

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What did the computer say to his girlfriend? I'm going to RAM you tonight.

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the power to turn magnetism into light

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if got a joke if fogot it

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What did the orphan get for his birthday? Shit on.

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How do you get a slave to stop screaming from the rope he is hanging on? You stop messing around and you hang him already!

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My friend thought that an onion was the only food that could make you cry, so I threw a watermelon at his face.

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Why was Michael Jackson so bad at dancing? Because he had a broken leg.

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Why did 9/11 take place? Because God hates Satan

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69

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How did the fat guy survive the air crash? He was he was astronomically and improbably lucky.

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What did the worm a fisherman used to catch fish called when the worm killed a trout? Master Bate.

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was tired of this joke.

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Why is the horny toad named that way? Because its a misnomer of the horned lizard.

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A drum and a cymbal fall off a cliff...

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What did one Platypus say to the other Platypus? Nothing, Platypuses can't talk. However, they are the only mammal to lay eggs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops