A man walks into a bar. He has had a tough day at work and unwinds with a beer. He goes home to his loving family. He makes love to his wife that night. It's good but not great.

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where is the world?

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What starts with f and ends in u-c-k? a:****

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Why couldn't the 10 year old see the Pirate Movie? Because his weekend was busy!

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What has four legs, but cannot walk? A giraffe with polio.

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Far from, yet all organizations are money based and put capitalism in front of all, so if lets say, one organization, needs help from another, a money transaction is made, I play a role there, as a well... Diplomat, its not my title, but my title is something I cannot reveal to anyone, not even my wife, id be putting myself and people in danger, but since I master things such as hypnosis, I can well, influence people, this is how I can pull of favors myself. Not favors such as "kill that guy for me", but more like... In your case. "If you are going to kill the wizard, please let the rest be, I know they are good people"

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What did the over confident jack-ass say to the hot girl, You'll do.

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Q: Why is Abu Soooo Dank? A: Because he scores too many left-foot bangers

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When I became a WoMan, no, its a nice subject, I do not mind at all.

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Q: Why can't dinosaurs talk? A: Because they're all dead.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, I can't see ~ Ray Charles

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A lost young boy walks into a bar to ask for a map. The Bartender takes him into a room and rapes him.

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What's funnier A Ginger or a fat kid A fat ass ginger

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roses are blue, violets are unicorns, this poem doesnt make any sense. refrigerator

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A:Why did the chicken cross the road? B:To get The Daily.....Do you get it. A:No. B:Me neither..I get The Times.

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Why was Jerry Sanduski at K-Mart? He heard boys pants were half off!

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? "because he had nobody to go with" No because it was dead.

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A black man, hispanic man, and white man walk in to a bar. They are all friends. They enjoy a few beers together then call a taxi to take them home because it is irresponsible to operate a motor vehicle while under the influence of alcohol or other drugs.

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A man said to another man," you are so stupid you climbed a glass wall to see what was on the other side." The second man said," well you were on this side of the wall and I'm going to kick your ass." The second man had been drinking that night.

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Why did the little girl die so suddenly? The bullet got her right in the heart.

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OK, so there's this blonde driving down the road in her brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 Lamborghini. She's cruising at about 95, radio blaring, having a great time. She comes up on this trucker who is carrying a double-wide home and is taking up both lanes. To her disliking, he is only going about 45. To get the point across that she wants to get past, she decides to tailgate him. So, she gets to within a foot of his rear bumper. The trucker looks back and sees her on his ass, and motions for her to get off of it, but to her it looks like a wave and she waves back. Since her first attempt was futile, she decided to get a little closer and begin flashing her headlights, hopefully making herself more visible in the process. Once again the trucker sees her on his ass, and this time motions for her to pull over to the side of the road. The trucker steps out of his vehicle with a chunk of chalk and draws a circle three feet in diameter in the middle of the road. He instructs her not to move until he tells her to. Naive as she was, she agrees to it and steps inside it. The trucker goes back to his truck and pulls out a 50-ounce Louisville Slugger. He walks over to the Lamborghini and beats it, and beats it, and beats it again. When he is done, all that is left is a brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 pile of metal. Satisfied, he throws the bat in his truck and walks over to the blonde. When he gets there, to his astonishment, the cops were waiting. He was found guilty in court and forced to pay the blonde a settlement of $250, 000.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? An ambulance.

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God and Allah are having a metaphysical picnic, God says to his fellow deity: "Why do you think so many humans have been killed in our names?" Allah muses upon this for a moment and replies: "Because they think we exist."

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Have you heard the one about Tony Hawk's brother Mike? Neither has he, considering Tony Hawk only has a brother named Steve.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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