If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put my sausage in your oven

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--- ___________________--- Can you tell what it is? Yes... Then what is it? Its a blanket,duh! ......

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Why does a clown wear makeup? So you can't identify him to police after he shoves your kids in his tiny car and drives away.

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What's the difference between a smart blonde and bigfoot? There's been sittings of bigfoot

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Where did Jonathan go when the bombs hit? Everywhere.

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Why did the little girl go to the hospital?........................Beacuse she fell when trying to steal cookies out of the cookie jar on top of the fridge.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave was beginning to get very scared of his best friend at this time, so he ran away panicking.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I can't wait to shove my finge in you

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a prison. They're stopped by a gang. Hey, want to play a game? They answer "No thanks, we died in the last joke."

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When you nut and slice her fukcing dumb head off fucking dumb BITCH DIES

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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What's the difference between a hundred dead babies and a porsche? A porsche is a car.

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What did Woody say to Buzz? A lot. There were three movies.

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Why is this joke hilarious? Because it isn't.

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Ask me if I'm a dinosaur. Are you dinosaur? No.

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Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet eating her curds and way, along came a spider who sat there beside her and asked, "Hey bitch what's in the bowl?"

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Q: What would happen if you threw a red brick into the black sea? A: It would get wet.

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a man walked in to a bar and said 'outch'

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I saw a woman get burned alive on the news... That woman was my mom.

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why did the kid struggle in school? because hes mentally retarted

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Why doesn't little jimmy ride his favourite bike to school any more? He was playing on the platform at at the railway station, tripped and fell across the track, at which point a seven carriage train came through at over 150 mph and cut through his upper thighs crushing everything in his legs and causing them to fall off.

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Why are all Asians smart? Not all of them are, Asians are stereotypically smart because their parents most likely grew up in an under-developed country and want their children to be successful because they don't want their children to experience what they did.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Auntie.

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How did the chicken cross the road? Assuming the vehicles yielded to the chicken, it looked both directions before crossing then proceded across the street while staying between the crosswalk lines until it had reached the other side of the road.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops