Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He didn't he was chicken

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When life gives you carrots, don't make carrot juice, because it's gross.

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there are 2 muffins in an oven one says "man its hot in here" the other says "shut up i hate this joke"

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Why did the gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chickens foot.

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what did the guy do at the funeral? cry because his wife died

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A elephant drowns when it was swimming, why did this happen? Who cares its already dead!

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why did the mexican beat your ass larry clark III because you live in a apartment with your mom and dad who are black your dad has a truck your mom recked her car

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Why was the woman arrested for trying to have sex with a miner? Because he was on the job and her advances were completely unwanted.

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have multiple personality disorder And so do we

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Q: What happens when you sit in the middle of the road? A: You get hit by a car and die a horrible death as your family members mourn in the loss and remain sad forever.

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What do you get when you mix red and yellow together? rellow

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Q: What did the floor say to the Christmas tree? A: Your balls are hanging.

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What did the coney say to the hotdog? At least i kill people.

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Chuck Norris doesnt need air to live, Air needs chuck Norris to live. Actaully that statment is a fallacy because it would be fatal to not breathe

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In Soviet Russia... ...there are many buildings and landmarks for the viewing.

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What's worse than a holocaust? two holocausts.

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An Irishman, an Englishman and a Scott land on an island. They were on vacation and returned to the UK, which consists of two isles.

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Q: What is the fastest way to get insulted? A: Go screw yourself m0therf0cker!

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how much does a pirate pay for an earing? $2.50

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How did the guy feel after his wife died? Pretty shitty, I'd imagine..

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wow i bet grass is lucky on st patricks day. why? becuase its green all year. *smacks* ow. i kno. but hey im corn.

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What do you get when you cross a Mexican and an African? A baby.

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hey timmy, wanna go to Disneyworld?! tough. *10 seconds later* still no timmy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops