What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? Misthrown

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A man walks into a bar and sees a woman starring at him, she seems attractive... he walks up to her and realizes that sheis quite mediocre if not even ugly. He proceeds to say "You'll do"

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How did Harry potter open the door? He had the key

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whats long, hairy, and has one eye? my cat fluffy, he has cancer.

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whats big, black and red all over? My mom when its that time of the month

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Why did little Susie fall off the cliff? I pushed her.

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What's got two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog.

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What does Obama, the President of the United States of America see when he closes his eyes? His eyelids

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what do you call two indian men lying next to each other? i dont think there is a name for it but im sure you call them by there names.

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How many Jews can you fit into a Volkswagen? Probably around seven.

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what do you call five mexicans pushing a truck up a hill? Five mexicans stuck in the middle of nowhere looking for an auto mechanic.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Conscience. Conscience who? Oh, sorry about that Hitler, you wouldn't know who I am.

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What did the Jewish girl do when I asked for her number? Roll up her sleeve...

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Im Harold Camping.... and i enjoy scaring the shit out of you

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How did the blond know that you like her? You said,"Baby, I like you"

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What did the horse with herpes say to Paul? Ney

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i like my woman how i like my coffe... without d i c k s

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what is the differnce between my truck and chuck norris? i eat my own poop.

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What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

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This is my fist. Would you politely run into it as fast as you can?

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What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, and only one eye? Dave.

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the story below is a truee story...unfortunately!!!!!!!!! :'(

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What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? One if part of the four main food groups, and one is not.

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a duck, a mexican, a camel, a jew, a duck, a moose, an asian, an ostrich, a turtle, an elephant, a scorpion, two vampires, a pokemon, your mom, Stephen Hawkings, a bird, a plane, mario, your family, and a plumber walk into a bar. They have cancer, AIDS, disabilties, diabetes, herpes, siezures, retardation, death in their families, drug addiction, no arms or legs, no home, no money, racial segregation, and have been raped. A combination of which is worse than the holocaust and three bee stings and a rope that fails.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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