Why couldn't the baker get a new car? Because he lived in a recession and nobody was buying his cakes.

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What do you do if you walk outside and see your t.v. floating in the lawn in the middle of the night? Go back inside.

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what happend when the magic man touched fire? He got burnt screamed in my ear and died.

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and 1,000 dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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What do you call a black man with a lip desiese? Jumbo shrimp

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Two arabs fly into a bar in the twin towers

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What's the difference between a red door and a blue door? Fat black people.

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They usually say "fuck" the police! But no one wants to fuck the police...

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Why are Ethiopians so fast? Because antelope are also very fast.

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Wife: Does this make me look fat? Husband: Honey, your already fat.

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What do you call a really bad band? One with a poor guitar player, a bad bass player, sloppy drums, obnoxious vocals, and all of the songs sound the same. Or Nickelback.

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What's an X-BOX? A box where you find a treasure

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What's the only animal that has to be oiled? any animal I can think of

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Due to the wildlife conservation program prevalent in the neighborhood, the chicken was able to cross the road safely.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He didn't. He threw at the girl, and that's why she fell off the swing.

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple

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Roses are red Violets are blue classic

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Why don't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead!!!!

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How many dead babies does it take to fill a bathtub? It is highly unlikely one would have a supply of dead babies large enough to answer this question.

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What happened to the guy that took to many lunesta pills? He fell asleep but he was glad it was the weekend or he would have been late for his job

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Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted.

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If I had a nickel for every time I heard that... I'd most likely have no money as I would spend it all on cocaine.

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Karen was an average high-schooler. When she got home she often went online to chat with strangers. One day she started chatting with a nice girl named Jami. They really got along, Karen could tell Jami all of her secrets. One day, Karen decided to met her new friend at a local park without telling her parents. When she arrived she discovered the gruesome truth about Jami. Jami wasn't in high-school. She was a ten-foot tall, vicious, velociraptor.

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A man gets kicked in the testicles... Ow

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops