it was dark outside so u know what i did....went to sleep

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Roses are Blue Violets are red, I need to go the the bathroom

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A patient goes to the doctor. The doctor says I have bad news and even worse news. The patient says "What's the bad news?" The doctor says "You only have 24 hours to live." The patient says "Oh my gosh what could possibly be worse than that?!" The doctor says "Well...we've been trying to contact you since yesterday..."

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Doctor, doctor, I think I've got a problem! Correct, you have got acute cancer, you have 2 months to live.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

call me maybe.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did jenny fall off the swing? ...Cause she has no arms Knock, Knock Who's there? not jenny

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Hey, I'm Schrödinger, and this is crazy! But here's a sealed box... the cat lives, maybe...

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What is worse than catching someone trying to cheat by looking at your exam? Getting struck by lightning.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

why did the boring girl get ditched she was boring...

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The pizza doesn't scream when it goes into the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Knock Knock, Who's There? Legolas They're taking the Hobbits to Isengard!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

After going at it for several minutes, the teenager, with a big grin in his face, finally busted a nut during Thanksgiving dinner and was able to remove the walnut from its shell and enjoy it.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Whats brown a sticky, shit

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How do asians chop their food? CHOPSTICKS! Moral: Yeah that one sucked... ON PURPOSE! Now you dont have to feel inferior ALL the time, you feel equal even though you arent! Ill allow you :D

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? He has flourished throughout his musical career and is a very accomplished man, as he has won many Grammys

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How Dow you make a baby stop crying?? Hit it with a brick By smash45

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the kid say when the doctor said he had cancer Oh No

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the fat kid rob a pizza shop? Because he happened to like pizza.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's worse than a dead baby in a barrel? A dead baby in 8 barrels.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A man spoke in a high-pitched voice. Another man said "Are you gay" He responded, "Why, yes"

thumb_up thumb_down -22

arena football

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Science debated on whether Dinosaur hide was like leather But though quite absurd They thought, like a bird Velociraptor was covered in feathers.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's black and blue and hates sex? The 13 year old tied up in my basement.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

It's probably not a good idea that your in here, any sudden movements and you could seriously injure somebody. Our beer glasses aren't ergonomically designed for your kind of species. I'm going to have to ask you to leave

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops